Many people often describe their experience of finding out that they are pregnant as joyous, wonderful, even exhilarating. I always thought I would feel the same. However, upon finding out that I was pregnant, I distinctly remember feeling fear and acute distress.
There’s a saying that goes, ‘don’t worry about [the cost of] babies, they bring their own pizza.’ But as a queer woman, I don’t worry about the cost of raising a child, well, no more so than anyone else. I worry about the cost of bringing a child into the world and the many unknowns of the financial and emotional cost of doing so. My partner and I know that we want to settle down, buy a house and start a family.
When I started a recovery program for an eating disorder, my therapist gave me plenty of warnings about what to expect. She warned me that I would want to justify overexercising and undereating and needed to manage my stress through the process. She also told me to be gentle with myself, take plenty of time to reflect, and engage in self-care. However, neither of us anticipated that the urge to “diet” would slowly start to take over other parts of my life.
Mental health and money are inextricably connected. It’s difficult to find true emotional harmony if your finances are in a mess. If you manage long term mental health conditions, as I do, you’re more likely to experience debt, have reduced earning potential and have challenges managing your finances.
